The Way We Used To Be
by snufflesoul
Summary: Zero thought that Yuuki has been weird lately because of her thirst. But, something made Yuuki realize what she truly wanted. Contains manga spoilers. Read at your own risk. YuukixZero
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: MATSURI HINO owns her story. Not me.**

**My first Vampire Knight fic! :) Contains spoilers to the manga so beware! This fanfic is dedicated to my dear sis - Mia who had her birthday yesterday. sorry for the late post sis. :3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i love you :***

* * *

><p>I watched him tear his wrist with his own fangs, the blood dripping to the ground. The scent of his blood is overpowering. My thirst is not helping either. I tried to picture Kaname in my mind, but Zero's presence is simply hard to ignore.<p>

I brought his bleeding wrist close to my mouth. I could feel my fangs slowly grow as the ache is stirring up. In my mind, Kaname's words are resonating. I love him so I've got to be faithful to him, right? I could not betray him. But, can I?

I felt his lavender eyes watching me as I hesitate. The treat is just too tempting, if only he knew of the battle inside my mind. How I longed for his blood. Deep down inside me, I will never be satisfied with drinking Kaname's blood alone. I looked up to meet his eyes. His gaze is different – it is full of concern and affection. Not the usual look of apathy. I could drown at those deep pools right there and there.

I could not take it any longer. I gripped his arm and swiftly lowered my head on his neck. I could hear his gentle pulse beneath the creamy skin. Compared to mine, my heart is beating wildly with nervousness.

"Having second thoughts?" He whispered, sending chills down my spine.

I turned to look at him. His face is still calm, unfazed. I shook my head, "I..I just want to look at you." We stared for who knows how long.

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "I want your blood, Zero." It's true. Even though I've never tasted it before, my body longs for it. There were times that after I drink Kaname's blood, I still feel insatiated. Now that this sweet scent flooding my senses is in front of me, I could not bare not to part with it ever again. No, I've got to have it now. I need his blood. "I've been suppressing my thirst but I won't hold back now." I said, managing to keep my voice steady.

_I cannot contain myself any longer._ I grabbed his tie and moved my face closer to his. "Zero.."

"..Yeah?"

"Can you not think of anything else..just for now." I trembled nervously as I spoke.

"It doesn't matter what you'd see through my heart." He shifted his head, anticipating my attack as I lowered my head. "..It won't change anything, us."

"Zero..please empty your thoughts." My voice was throaty. I sank my fangs onto his flesh, savouring the fresh blood coming out from his veins. Even if my movements are inept, I still got my vampire instincts to tell me what to do. I felt that the only beings that existed in the world right now is Zero and me. Zero.. Zero is _enough_ to keep me satisfied.

As I closed my eyes, I envisioned myself walking in a graveyard and a familiar girl's voice called out to me.

"Hey, stop.." Zero's voice was distant.

"..peering inside.." A younger Yuuki perched on top of a tree smiling at me while the shadow of Ichiru lurked behind.

"..my heart." That broke the reverie. I pulled away and licked my lips. "I'm sorry, Zero."

"It's okay." He touched the spot where I bit him. The faint scent of his blood is still lingering in the air.

"Don't worry, I..I didn't see much." Although that's true but by intruding inside his heart, I did sense his deepest fears. A tough man like him hiding those things. But, he can't help it. It's hard for him to open up to anybody else. I feel guilty. I wish that I wasn't a vampire. I wish that we weren't enemies. What I want..

I want to go back like we used to be. But, that's not me. That past is only a part of me. The reality that I'm a vampire and I'm Zero's enemy is painful.

"It can't be helped." He said, reassuringly.

"Thank you, Zero." I never thought that I could have this intimate moment with him. But, I don't feel guilty getting to drink blood that isn't from Kaname. Although, it was my resolve not to show Zero my fangs, but I guess..

_ I just can't help it._

* * *

><p>"Oi, Yuuki." I was sitting in the classroom with the others. Our teacher for Latin had just left. Aidou-senpai's face showed annoyance. Shiki and Rima are just silent, sitting side by side.<p>

"What is it senpai?" Zero has been occupying my thoughts lately. I just saw him on the way to school as he attended his prefect duties. Maria has been very friendly with too. She constantly bugs him until someone would pull her to the classroom. I envy her. Even in front of many people, she could act so normal with Zero, unlike me.

Every time I want to have a normal conversation with him, my heart just jumps to my throat that I'd end up just saying muffled hi's or phrases like, "Do your best." or "Keep it up."

"I was talking about your performance lately. It seems like I need to tutor you again." Aidou-senpai said, poking my forehead. It's true that the lessons of the night class are more demanding than the regulars. Even though I have been tutored by Aidou-senpai at the mansion, it appears that I need to work harder to keep up with the others. But this means that I could spend less time with Zero..

Lately, we have been meeting in secret. He knows my scent too well and ever since the day I drank his blood, I have been more sensitive with his scent. This way, it's easy to meet. Because, every time I want to see him, I would roam around and he'll rush to find me effortlessly. I guess he's just worried that I'd get myself in danger. But still, I use this stunt in order to see him.

"Yuuki has been more energetic lately. I'm glad that the blood tablets we developed have been a good use for you." Sara smiled meaningfully.

"Yeah, they've been a great help Sara-san." I smiled at her.

"I also admire your suppression for fresh blood..relying too much on blood tablets, I won't last that long." She chuckled mockingly.

"What are you talking about Sara-san?" Aidou-senpai must have sensed my recoil.

"I'm just stating the obvious." Sara got up and left, Ichijou-senpai at her wake. She must have an idea that I've been drinking fresh blood. She must have really enjoyed teasing me in front of everyone else.

"Yuuki, let's talk outside." Aidou-senpai got up and I followed him out of the room.

We walked through the corridors neither speaking a word. "Yuuki, you've got to be more careful whenever..er.." Senpai must have known something. Maybe even the others knew it too but they just pretended that they don't know anything.

Aidou-senpai scratched his head and looked sideways. "I saw you two. You drank Zero's blood." He spoke in a low voice. His tone isn't accusing, more like how a worried parent would say to encourage his child to trust him.

"You can't tell me what to do and not to do." All my actions aren't Aidou-senpai's business. But, I wonder how many times has he seen us _exchange blood_.

* * *

><p><strong>:)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: MATSURI HINO owns Vampire Knight :3 Not me. \m/**

* * *

><p>"Kaname-sama?"<p>

The dark haired head of the Kurans, stared out of the window wearing a long face. Seiren has been watching him silently all these time. The sun is nearly setting down in the distance.

A crow landed at the windowsill where Kaname is standing. Suddenly, the gentle crimson eyes turned grim. "Yuuki.."

* * *

><p>"Geez, that guy." I muttered to myself. I sat down at a foot of a huge tree, wrapping my arms around my knees. I have been bothered by what I found out last night. Sara must have had an idea about Zero and I and even Aidou-senpai has seen us together. What if there are more who have already discovered our secret affair?<p>

Why would I care about what other people might think of me, anyway? They can't do anything. I closed my eyes and suddenly, Kaname's handsome face flashed on my mind. The past few days spent with Zero has slowly eroded my feelings for him. Zero has been occupying my thoughts and I have _stopped_ thinking about him slowly.

"_Yuuki, if you want me to let you go, you'd have to kill me first."_

His voice echoed inside my head. His words kept on repeating as though trying to make me feel guilty of my betrayal. _My sinful betrayal_. "Noooo!"

"_You may have another person inside your heart but, you must remember that you are only mine."_

Why is Kaname torturing me right now? But, I deserve this. I should be hated by Kaname. Even so, I don't regret being with Zero even if I am also betraying somebody who is far away. _I'm sorry Kaname._

"Yuuki?" I slowly opened my eyes. Silver hair and lavender eyes full of concern, Zero kneeled in front of me. His right hand is stroking my tear stained face. "You were crying in your sleep."

I could not tell Zero that Kaname is..

I embraced him and I calmed down immediately. "Zero, I..you..you made me wait for too long!" He merely chuckled. He gently pulled away and locked his eyes to mine, holding me in his arms still.

"You spoiled brat." His mouth curved in a smile.

"Well, I thought that you're not going to come.." He kissed my forehead to reassure me. I blushed. This is the first time that he did that and it made me happy.

"I just got busy with the association." I should have guessed. He has tons of duties for the association along with that guy Kaito. I just can't shrug out the possibility that he might be with Maria.

"I have something important to tell you, Zero." He shifted his position and sat beside me. He gave me a look that says, 'I'm listening'. "Well, the others…"

"..have noticed how we changed?" Zero completed the sentence for me.

"Sara was teasing me last night. I believe that she knew something." He continued to stare at the ground and made no comment. "Also, Aidou-senpai knows. It's not unlikely that the others might have known something."

For a long moment, neither spoke a word. Is it a good idea to talk about this now?

"Yuuki, I also believe that Kaname knows about us already." Zero said calmly. I gulped at that thought. It is possible that he really knows that I have betrayed him already. Zero glanced at me but I avoided his gaze and looked down at my skirt instead.

"The dream you had awhile ago is about Kaname right?" I nodded.

"I know that this is only temporary. That by the time he comes back, you could be with him forever again." Even how painful those words are, Zero uttered it without resentment in his voice.

I felt my eyes burn as my tears started to form. "Is this how are we going to be like always?" I spat bitterly. "I..I don't want to be like this. I want to go back like we used to be -"

Zero pulled me in his arms and held me tightly. I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I only wish to be held by Zero like this without hurting anybody else.

It is impossible. My guilt is eating me. But, I _can't let go_ of Zero either.

"You.." I sniffed. "..said that you'd kill me the next time we'd meet right?"

"I did say that.." He gently stroked my hair calming me down.

"So, why haven't you..?" He raised my face with his fingers to level with his own. His eyes held mine in an affectionate way that made me heady. He slowly lowered his face to mine. I expected a bite from him but he aimed for my lips. His gentle lips moved against mine, making my heart beat fast. I shut my eyes. He wasn't forceful. Before I know it, I'm already responding to his kiss. Kaname and I have kissed like this before but with Zero, it's different. His kiss was filled with emotion as though he was conveying his feelings through it. The gentle kiss became passionate sending warm sensations all over, causing my bones to get weak.

He pulled away slowly and examined my flushed face. "It's because-" He paused and lowered his mouth near my ear, his warm breath causing me to tremble, and whispered, "I love you Yuuki." It was the sweetest thing that anybody has said to me. The way Zero said it was really pure and full of emotion that I found myself falling deeper into him.

He stroked my hair and grabbed every strand in one hand, revealing the skin on my neck. He touched it tenderly before planting a kiss which sent shivers down my spine. Zero's slow movements are making me crazy. Compared to him, I am more direct and rough when it comes to biting. He licked the flesh and in one swift movement, his fangs bore down my skin. I gripped at the back of his shirt as he suck my blood. When Zero has got enough, he returned the favor and let me drink his blood. Everything Zero does makes me forget about Kaname. _I want Zero's blood now._

* * *

><p>"Yuuki?" Zero whispered as I snuggled my head on his shoulder, moments later. I responded with a, "Mhmhm."<p>

He reached for his pockets and took out something. The object must be very small because his right hand could hide the thing completely. "What is that, Zero?" I inquired.

"Open it." I pried his fingers and on his palm are two silver rings.

"What...Zero?" I looked at him questioningly, my face red. "Is this a..?"

"Are you surprised? They're a match. One for you-" He took one and reached for my left ear, hooking the ring on the hole of my earlobe. Apparently, it can also be worn as an earring.

"-and one for me." I watch him place the other one on his left earlobe also. "It's a promise ring, do you like it?"

This unknown side of Zero is really full of surprise, but I love it. "Of course Zero!" I embraced him tightly.

"I love you too, Zero." I whispered lovingly on his ear.

* * *

><p><strong>OMG! I'm going to add a few more chapters for this..haha :) Did I make Zero too sweet? kyaaa!~ Zero :3 please review ^_^ <strong>


End file.
